By Daniel Hamon
Carolyn and Jeffrey Schrock lost their five children, ages 2 through 12, in a car accident in late 2005. Jeffrey was driving with the children when Clifford Helm drove his truck across a median and onto oncoming traffic, crashing into Schrock's vehicle. It is not clear what caused Helm to lose control of his truck in this way. There was no evidence of alcohol in his blood.
What happened after the accident is not what one would expect. In William Yardley's New York Times article, we find the details of what followed:
In the first days after the accident, Mrs. Schrock visited Mr. Helm in the hospital and told him her family forgave him. Mr. Helm, 58, who suffered a serious head injury, visited Mr. Schrock in his hospital room a few days later.
Mr. Schrock says he has accepted that he may never know exactly what happened or why. He also says he has a friend he did not have before, Mr. Helm.
The friendship has not been without challenges, but the families have been intentional about dealing with the difficulties:
Friendship under such circumstances is complicated, Mr. Schrock said, like pretty much everything else that has happened since the accident. For him, the challenge has been to forgive Mr. Helm without expecting resolution, and to build a friendship regardless of the forces working against it. “It’s what the Bible teaches,” Mr. Schrock said.
Since the accident, they and their families have shared occasional meals and have spent time together now and then, deliberately trying to heal.
“I’m so thankful for Jeff and Carolyn in my life,” Helm said. “They’re such wonderful people.”
The Schrocks' gift to Clifford Helm is an unusual gift: It is not a gift of money or time. Jeffrey and his family did nothing tangible for the Helms. But their gift was so much greater. In the midst of their terrible loss, they forgave. They turned away from hatred. They turned away from considering or demanding punishment and just retribution.
The gift of forgiveness - what an amazing gift that is. And how hard it must be to offer it without reservation.
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